Did you here about the guy at the sawmill who had the whole left side of his body cut off?
Don’t worry, he’s all right.
Did you hear about the woodworker who died when he fell into a vat of varnish? It was a terrible end, but a beautiful finish
Not a joke you tell, but rather, one you play.
You look wistfully into the blue sky and say “hey! dad will be on the plane by now”
Your companion will invariably ask “where’s he going?”
You respond “nowhere – he’s taking half an inch off the bottom of the door”
Some men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard.
One of the men walked in the office and said, “We need some four-by-twos.”
The clerk asked, “You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?”
The man said, “I’ll go check,” and went back to the truck.
He returned and said, “Yeah, I meant two-by-four.”
“All right. How long do you need them?” asked the clerk,
The customer paused for a minute and said, “I’d better go check.”
After a while, the customer returned to the office and said, “A long time. We’re gonna build a house.”
Thats all I got ;)
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